Time of Year

I know this is supposed to be a joyous time of year, but I'm really having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. My dad always made a big deal about serving people at Christmas time! I miss that! And I remember the first year that my brother and his wife sent us the Christmas story they had created about their little Lili. I still have it saved on my computer so I can look at it. And I'm certain this has got to be a rough Christmas for Uncle Jim's family too. And just today I learned that a friend of mine from high school is losing her father to pancreatic cancer. It is hard to find joy and happiness when such sadness is hanging about. I am trying, though. I have decided to try and enjoy one blessing at a time, one joy at a time. To help, a friend suggest that I make angel ornaments with the faces of my loved ones lost, to hang on my Christmas tree. And oddly enough, that has really helped!

It is also the time of year for colds and flu - bleh! Emma has had trouble sleeping the past couple nights because she's got a croupy cold. I'm grateful for Christmas break and that I don't have to get up really early. That has been a blessing. I will certainly rest easier when she's better, though.

I had the worst realization a couple days ago when I received a Christmas card from a cousin. All three of her girls have grown up, graduated, and moved out of the house. I remember all of their births. Time really is a fleeting thing! It won't be long before all my little ones will be grown and gone too. And for as much sleep as I haven't had over the past few years, and the worries, and frustrations - it won't be long before they're gone and I know I will miss this time. I'm trying to make more of an effort to enjoy the little things and not worry so much!